Hitman: Agent 47

There is something inherently goofy about a grown man walking through a crowded airport wearing a bright red silk tie and a barcode tattooed on the back of his scalp. It’s a look that screams "I am either a high-end male stripper or the world’s most conspicuous assassin." Yet, in the world of Aleksander Bach’s Hitman: Agent 47, this is the height of tactical subtlety. I watched this movie on a Tuesday afternoon while my cat was aggressively licking a plastic bag in the corner of the room, and honestly, that rhythmic crinkling provided a more consistent sense of tension than the actual script.

The Audi Commercial That Became a Movie

Released in 2015, Hitman: Agent 47 arrived right as the "Cinematic Universe" fever was reaching a delirious peak. 20th Century Fox wasn't content with just one Hitman movie—the 2007 version starring Timothy Olyphant—they wanted a reboot that could launch a sprawling franchise. What we got instead was a 96-minute showcase for the Audi RS7. I’m serious; the car gets better lighting and more hero shots than some of the supporting cast.

The film follows Agent 47 (Rupert Friend), a genetically engineered killing machine who is tracking down Katia (Hannah Ware), a woman who doesn't realize she’s also a high-tech lab experiment. Along for the ride is John Smith (Zachary Quinto), a man who claims to be protecting her but is clearly hiding something behind that "I’m a Vulcan" stoicism Quinto does so well. The plot is a standard-issue "find the scientist" MacGuffin hunt, and the dramatic weight of a damp paper towel. It exists solely to ferry us from one glossy, high-contrast location to the next.

Stunts, Strangling, and Silver Ballers

Where the film actually earns its keep is in the choreography. Unlike the 2007 version, which felt a bit more grounded in the gritty mid-2000s aesthetic, this reboot leans into the "superhero" aspect of being an Agent. Rupert Friend brings a chilly, metronome-like precision to the role. He doesn't just shoot people; he moves through environments with a pre-calculated efficiency that feels like watching someone play the game on "Easy" mode with all the cheats turned on.

There’s a standout sequence in a subway station where 47 uses a pair of handcuffs in a way that would make MacGyver blush. The action is clear, bright, and mostly avoids the "shaky-cam" plague that ruined so many post-Bourne thrillers. However, it’s a bit of a double-edged sword for fans of the IO Interactive games. The games are about stealth, disguises, and "accidental" deaths involving poisoned fugu fish or falling chandeliers. This movie is about Agent 47 playing a lethal game of 'The Floor is Lava' with a sniper rifle. It’s less "Silent Assassin" and more "John Wick’s Corporate Cousin."

Stuff You Didn't Notice (The Cult of 47)

Despite being panned by critics upon release, the film has carved out a weird little niche for itself among action junkies who appreciate its unapologetic slickness. Turns out, the production was more of a headache than the final product suggests. Paul Walker was originally set to play 47 before his tragic passing in 2013, which would have resulted in a vastly different, likely more "fast and furious" vibe. When Rupert Friend stepped in, he committed hard, undergoing extensive Krav Maga and firearms training to ensure he didn't look like an amateur holding those iconic Silverballer pistols.

Interestingly, Skip Woods, who wrote the 2007 movie, also wrote this one. It’s a rare "double-dip" in the same franchise that resulted in two completely different origins. The film was also the first major Hollywood production to film extensively in Singapore, using the futuristic "Gardens by the Bay" as a backdrop. It gives the third act a distinct, "city of tomorrow" look that separates it from the usual grey-toned European cities we see in these types of thrillers. Also, if you look closely at the end, there’s a blatant sequel tease involving an "Agent 48" that we all know by now is never, ever going to happen.

Ultimately, Hitman: Agent 47 is a movie that looks like an expensive screensaver for a high-end stereo store. It’s sleek, it’s loud, and it’s entirely devoid of any nutritional value. But sometimes, that’s exactly what you want. It’s a "background movie"—the kind of thing you put on while you're folding laundry or, in my case, ignoring a plastic-obsessed cat. It doesn't ask much of you, and in an era of three-hour "important" blockbusters, there’s a certain charm to a 90-minute movie that just wants to show you a cool car and a guy in a sharp suit.

If you’re a die-hard fan of the games, you’ll probably be annoyed that he spends more time shooting than sneaking. But if you’re just looking for a well-shot actioner with some creative kills and Rupert Friend’s Agent 47 having the emotional range of a very handsome granite countertop, you could do much worse. It’s a glossy relic of the mid-2010s "everything is an IP" era that failed to launch a franchise but succeeded in being a perfectly adequate way to kill ninety minutes.