The Last Mercenary

If you told me in 1992 that Jean-Claude Van Damme would eventually spend his golden years wearing a series of increasingly ridiculous wigs and doing the splits over a bowl of soup, I probably would’ve asked you to pass the popcorn. Yet, here we are in the streaming era, where Netflix serves as a sort of high-budget retirement home for 80s action icons. The Last Mercenary (2021) isn't the gritty, tear-streaked "serious actor" turn we saw in JCVD (2008). Instead, it’s a hyperactive French farce that asks a very important question: How many disguises can one legendary martial artist wear before the audience loses their collective mind?

I actually watched this on a Tuesday night while my cat was aggressively trying to eat a crinkly plastic bag in the corner, and honestly, the chaotic energy in my living room perfectly matched the screen. It’s a weird, loud, and frequently baffling movie, but it has a secret weapon: Jean-Claude Van Damme is having the absolute time of his life.

The Legend in a Trench Coat

The plot is a classic "retired legend returns" setup, but played strictly for laughs. Van Damme plays Richard Brumére, a mysterious ex-secret service agent known as "The Mist." He’s forced out of hiding when his estranged son, Archibald (played with charmingly stressed energy by Samir Decazza), is framed for arms and drug trafficking by a corrupt bureaucrat. What follows is a frantic race through Paris involving a forged immunity deal, a lot of mopeds, and a cast of characters who seem to have wandered in from a different, much sillier movie.

In this current moment of "legacy sequels" and aging stars trying to look thirty years younger through blurry CGI, it’s refreshing to see Van Damme lean into his age. Yes, he still does the splits—it’s practically a contractual obligation at this point—but he does them with a wink. He’s playing a caricature of his own persona, and he’s surprisingly good at being the straight man in a room full of lunatics. Seeing him in a long-haired rocker wig or a janitor’s outfit shouldn't work, but his commitment to the bit is total.

French Farce Meets Firefights

Director David Charhon (who previously gave us the buddy-cop comedy On the Other Side of the Tracks) leans heavily into a specifically French style of comedy. It’s broad, slapstick-heavy, and occasionally moves so fast it forgets to tell the story. The supporting cast is a bit of a mixed bag, but Alban Ivanov steals several scenes as Alexandre, a bumbling government employee who thinks he’s much cooler than he actually is. His chemistry with the stoic Van Damme provides the film’s funniest moments, especially during a botched interrogation scene.

As for the action, it’s remarkably well-staged for a comedy. We aren't talking about the precision of John Wick, but the choreography has a rhythmic, playful quality. There’s a particular fight in a public bathroom that utilizes the cramped space with more creativity than most big-budget Marvel brawls. Van Damme handles the physical comedy with the grace of a silent film star, proving that even at 60+, he has better timing than half the actors in Hollywood. However, the film is essentially a high-budget dad joke with kicks, and if you aren't on board for that specific brand of cheese, the 110-minute runtime might start to feel like a marathon.

Lost in the Streaming Shuffle

Despite its $100 million+ "box office" (which, in Netflix terms, is a murky metric of viewership hours), The Last Mercenary has largely vanished from the cultural conversation. That’s the tragedy of the streaming era: a film drops on a Friday, trends for 48 hours, and then gets buried under four new documentaries about serial killers. It’s a "forgotten oddity" not because it’s bad, but because the algorithm is a hungry beast that needs constant feeding.

There’s also the hurdle of the subtitles. For many American viewers, the blend of French slapstick and American-style action is a tonal clash that doesn't quite click. But for those of us who grew up on a diet of Bloodsport and Double Impact, this feels like a warm, slightly eccentric hug. It doesn't take itself seriously, which is a blessing in an era where every action movie feels like it needs to be a three-hour epic about the end of the world. Here, the stakes are small, the wigs are synthetic, and the plot makes about as much sense as a screen door on a submarine, but I couldn't help but enjoy the ride.

Ultimately, The Last Mercenary is a celebration of a star who knows exactly who he is and isn't afraid to look a little ridiculous. It’s far from a masterpiece, but it’s a lot more fun than the dreary, self-serious action movies that usually populate the "New Releases" tab. If you’re looking for a breezy evening of French absurdity and a reminder that Jean-Claude Van Damme is still the coolest guy in the room—even in a bad hairpiece—this is well worth the 110 minutes of your life. Just keep an eye on your cat and any nearby plastic bags.