Amsterdam

I watched Amsterdam while intermittently looking for my missing left slipper, which I eventually found inside the refrigerator. Honestly, that level of mild, domestic confusion felt like the perfect headspace for a film that seems perpetually unsure of its own zip code.

When you look at the cast list for David O. Russell’s 2022 caper, it reads less like a call sheet and more like a fever dream of a frantic Oscar producer. You’ve got Christian Bale, Margot Robbie, and John David Washington leading the charge, but then you blink and Rami Malek, Anya Taylor-Joy, and Taylor Swift just sort of… happen to you. It’s the kind of "everyone is here" energy that usually signals a masterpiece or a massive tax write-off. The reality, as it turns out, is a shaggy, well-intentioned, and deeply weird bird that never quite learns how to fly but looks absolutely stunning while it’s hopping around on the ground.

A Beautiful, Golden Tangle

The plot, if you can pin it down without it squirming away, follows three WWI veterans—Burt (Christian Bale), Harold (John David Washington), and Valerie (Margot Robbie)—who made a pact in the titular Dutch city to always look out for one another. Fast forward to 1930s New York, and they’re being framed for a murder they didn’t commit, which spirals into a massive, "mostly true" conspiracy to overthrow the American government.

If that sounds like a taut political thriller, I have lied to you. It’s actually a whimsical, almost theatrical hang-out movie that just happens to have a coup d'état in the background. The cinematography by Emmanuel Lubezki (the guy who gave us The Revenant and Gravity) is gorgeous. Every frame is bathed in a warm, sepia-toned glow that makes the 1930s look like a high-end whiskey commercial. It’s a movie that looks like a million bucks but has the narrative focus of a golden retriever in a tennis ball factory.

The Method to the Madness

Christian Bale is doing a lot here, and I mean a lot. As Burt Berendsen, a doctor with a glass eye and a penchant for experimental medicine, he’s twitchy, soulful, and funny. Bale reportedly spent months staying in character, wandering around the set with his fake eye and a specific, hobbling gait. You can tell he’s having the time of his life, even if he’s sometimes acting in a completely different movie than John David Washington, who plays the "straight man" Harold with a quiet, stolid dignity that occasionally gets swallowed by the surrounding chaos.

Then there’s Margot Robbie as Valerie, an artist who makes sculptures out of shrapnel removed from her friends’ bodies. It’s a role that requires a very specific brand of "manic pixie dream nurse," and Robbie nails the eccentricity without letting it become a caricature. The chemistry between the three is the film’s heartbeat. When the movie stops trying to explain the labyrinthine plot and just lets them sit in a room and talk about their "triumvirate," it’s actually quite lovely.

The supporting turns are where the "Contemporary Cinema" of it all really kicks in. We live in an era of the "Extended Cameo," and Amsterdam is the king of them. Anya Taylor-Joy is delightfully icy as a socialite villain, and Robert De Niro shows up to do his "sturdy moral authority" thing, playing a character based on the real-life General Smedley Butler. However, the internet’s favorite moment—Taylor Swift being abruptly shoved into traffic—is a perfect example of how social media discourse can overshadow a film's actual content. For three days, that clip was the only thing anyone knew about this movie.

The Weird Truth Behind the Whimsy

The most fascinating thing about Amsterdam isn't the actors; it’s the fact that the "Business Plot" was a real thing. In 1933, a group of wealthy industrialists genuinely plotted to install a fascist dictator in the U.S. By wrapping this terrifying historical footnote in a sugary, comedic coating, Russell makes a choice that I’m still not sure works.

Apparently, Christian Bale and David O. Russell spent five years developing the script in various diners, which explains why it feels like a series of very long, very passionate conversations that occasionally forget there’s an audience waiting for a punchline. The film was shot during the height of the pandemic, which might explain the somewhat insulated, claustrophobic feel of the interiors—a far cry from the sprawling urban epics of the 70s that clearly inspired it.

In our current moment of franchise fatigue, there’s something almost heroic about an $80 million original R-rated drama that isn't a sequel or a superhero origin story. It’s a massive swing for the fences, even if the ball ends up landing in the parking lot. It’s a film that prioritizes "vibes" over "logic," which is a dangerous game to play when your runtime hits two and a quarter hours.

Ultimately, Amsterdam is a film about the power of friendship in the face of creeping authoritarianism. It’s messy, overlong, and frequently confusing, but it’s also undeniably earnest. I’d much rather watch a director like Russell fail while trying to do something unique than watch another factory-pressed blockbuster go through the motions. It won’t be everyone’s cup of tea—it might not even be most people’s cup of tea—but if you’re in the mood for a gorgeous, star-studded historical detour that values kindness above all else, it’s worth those 5 minutes (and the other 129). Just make sure you know where your slippers are before you start.