Humanist Vampire Seeking Consenting Suicidal Person

Most vampires in cinema have it pretty easy. They wake up, look fabulous in velvet, and eventually give in to that pesky biological urge to drain a passerby. But Sasha, the protagonist of the delightfully titled Humanist Vampire Seeking Consenting Suicidal Person, has a condition that would make Dracula turn in his grave: she has a conscience. Specifically, her "fanging" reflex is tied to her empathy. If she doesn’t feel like her prey deserves it, the teeth simply won’t come out. It’s the ultimate evolutionary glitch, and honestly, as someone who feels guilty for sending back a cold latte, Sasha is the most relatable monster I’ve seen in years.

I watched this film on a rainy Tuesday evening while nursing a bowl of slightly burnt popcorn, and there’s something about the dreary Quebecois nightscapes that makes you want to curl up with a story about blood and boundaries. In an era where "prestige horror" often feels like it's trying to win a sociology degree, Ariane Louis-Seize delivers something far more precious: a deadpan horror-comedy that actually has a heart—even if that heart belongs to someone who’s ready to stop using it.

A Match Made in the Afterlife

The premise is a high-concept tightrope walk. Sasha (Sara Montpetit) is a "young" vampire (she’s sixty, but in vampire years, she’s a sulky teen) whose parents are rightfully worried she’s going to starve to death. They’ve been "hand-feeding" her bags of blood, but they eventually cut her off, hoping survival instinct will kick in. Enter Paul (Félix-Antoine Bénard), a lonely, bullied teenager who has decided he’s had enough of the living world.

The chemistry between Sara Montpetit and Félix-Antoine Bénard is a masterclass in awkward, twitchy adolescent energy. Paul isn’t the typical "troubled teen" lead; he’s a kid who feels like he’s lived a thousand years in a boring suburban body. When they meet at a support group, they strike a deal: he’ll provide the meal, and she’ll provide the end he’s been looking for. But first, they have to navigate Paul’s "bucket list," which is less about skydiving and more about getting a tiny bit of petty revenge on the people who made his life a drag.

Small Budget, Big Atmosphere

One of the most impressive things about this film is how it handles its contemporary indie roots. With a budget of roughly $3 million, Ariane Louis-Seize doesn’t try to compete with the CGI-heavy blockbusters or the neon-soaked excess of modern vampire tropes. Instead, she leans into a moody, retro-minimalism. The cinematography by Shawn Pavlin makes Montreal look like a purgatory of dimly lit bowling alleys and quiet streets. It’s gorgeous in that "I want to take a nap in this color palette" kind of way.

There’s a specific kind of "indie-film" bravery here—it takes its time. It trusts that we care enough about these two weirdos to watch them sit in a car and listen to records. It reminded me of the first time I saw A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night, but without the crushing weight of being "cool." This movie is a dork, and I mean that as a massive compliment. It’s essentially Napoleon Dynamite with fangs, and it’s about time someone filled that niche.

The Ethics of Being a Bloodsucker

What really struck me, though, was how the film engages with the "now." In a world where we are constantly bombarded with the ethics of what we consume—from our clothes to our coffee—Sasha’s dilemma feels strangely pointed. How do you exist in a system that requires someone else’s suffering? It’s a heavy question for a movie where a girl has to be reminded by her parents to "hunt responsibly," but it works because the tone is so consistently droll.

The supporting cast, particularly Steve Laplante and Sophie Cadieux as Sasha’s exasperated parents, provide a hilarious look at "vampire domesticity." They aren't villains; they’re just parents who want their daughter to eat her dinner so she doesn't waste away. It’s a genius subversion of the "forbidden fruit" vampire romance. Here, the romance is sanctioned; the problem is that the "fruit" is too nice to be eaten.

Stuff You Might Not Know

Apparently, Ariane Louis-Seize spent years developing this script with Christine Doyon, ensuring the tone didn't veer too far into "emo" territory or "scary" territory. They hit a sweet spot that cleaned up on the festival circuit, taking home a big win at the Venice Film Festival’s Venice Days section. It’s a classic example of a "calling card" movie—the kind of project that tells the industry, "I can do a lot with a little."

Also, the fangs themselves were a bit of a practical effects challenge. Because the "trigger" for the fangs is so specific to the plot, they couldn't just use standard dental prosthetics. They needed something that looked organic and, frankly, a bit inconvenient, highlighting the fact that for Sasha, her biology is a burden, not a superpower.

In an era where every third movie is a legacy sequel or a three-hour epic about a man staring at a wall, Humanist Vampire Seeking Consenting Suicidal Person is a breath of fresh, slightly metallic-tasting air. It’s funny, it’s genuinely touching, and it treats its heavy subject matter with a lightness that never feels dismissive. If you’ve ever felt like you didn't quite fit the mold—or if you just really like a good, weird romance—this is the one to seek out. It’s a reminder that even in the darkest night, you might just find someone who understands your specific brand of broken. Just maybe don't invite them over for dinner without checking the menu first.